PASSENGER’s LOG Star date 6 October 2022
7 Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
God’s Control This short verse of God’s creation of Adam contains an amazing depth of theological truth. We can learn much about our relationship with God in just this one verse
Not only can we see how God has divine control over all aspects of our lives but if we pay close attention we may see how we balk at ‘allowing’ our God to be in control. At least I have seen how I have been one who resists the bit!
Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground
At the very beginning of time, God chose to create man. The text tells us that God formed (a man). What did the ‘man’ do? He not only had no active role in the event, he could not have done anything even if he was conscious. In the next part of the verse, we have another indication of God’s control…
God breathed (the breath of life)
In this part of the verse we see the action of God breathing into Adam. It is in this part of the verse where we see that Adam had a passive role and that is he became.
God created a body for Adam from the dust of the ground. He then spoke and He breathed into Adam from His own lungs, the breath of life. That miraculous power of God allowed Adam to become a living being. Again, no action on Adam’s part but in a passive response, he became a living being.
We are not so much unlike Adam. We may believe we have control but in reality we are as lifeless as Adam when we are still in our sin. Even when we are children of God, there are times when we feel cold toward God or we mistakenly believe He has turned away from us because our circumstances are so bad. We can believe a loving God would never allow us to endure such darkness. Satan is good at pushing that agenda when we do find ourselves away from God.
An adage reads, ‘if you feel far from God, check to see which one of you moved.’
In a recent monograph, not part of the Voyage series, I wrote that at times I felt that my response to this terminal illness was a disappointment to me and to those who know me. A dear sweet friend who is close enough to lovingly provide some sharp constructive criticism of my writing took me to task for that assessment. From where she sits, I can see her point. From my ‘front-row-center’ seat and my spot under the spotlights on stage center front, I concur with her that my assessment could be impacted by emotions, my medications, and my lack of sleep as well. It could also be because I have allowed the dark thoughts of depression and feelings of futility so similar to what Solomon wrote of in Ecclesiastes. to take control of my thoughts and steer me away from God. He wrote: “14 I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind.” (Ecclesiastes. 1:14 ESV)
Still, if I am honest with myself, I know how much I have been wrong in the way I have faced some of these tougher days. I need to take to heart the fact that the best way for God to work in my life through this illness is to replicate Adam in his first role. I will tell you, however, that for someone like me who is a ‘fixer’ – a person who always wants to fix whatever is wrong, that is a tall order.
In a relationship, if there is a disturbance in the force, I have the need to get in and fix it. That is true even though a vast amount of experience and common sense tells me that if I leave the force alone for about five days the disequilibrium will make a self-correction without the need for my self-impalement.
I chose the verse of Genesis 2:7 purposely for the Voyage because it does speak of the breath of life, something I am growing shorter of by the day. I thought it good to reconsider that verse by what God intended for us to know about Him by what He shared. His Word is designed to teach us about Him. God is the author of this divine book so what does it tell us? We learn that God is the ultimate creator, His skill and mastery of everything makes Him obviously the Holy God. The Trinity’s work within creation to deliver a completely perfect new divine creation to themselves was immaculate. So God would have us to be and we hold to the promise that someday we shall be like Him.
Lesson to take from this short glimpse at one verse – God has got this.
In late July to early August it was made known to us that the foundation which was helping offset the cost of my special medicine and taking care of almost $3,000 a month co-pay was no longer able to fund it. When I ran out of the medicine, I simply stopped taking it. By mid-September it was obvious I was going to have to go back on the medicine no matter the cost. Karin decided we would just utilize whatever credit and other funds we could scrounge and make it happen. So, I ordered the medicine to begin at the end of September. I even put the first co-pay on the card. The next morning I got a call from the specialty pharmacy that orders the medication, the same lady I had been working with these last few weeks. She asked if my dosage was 100mg or 150mg. I explained it had been 100 but was increased to 150mg. That is when she explained that for some reason the co-pay on the 100mg is the almost $3,000 per month but when she ran the 150mg pills, same brand etc., it has a co-pay of just over $500 a month. She had no explanation as for why. I told her I did. I said, I call it ‘a God-thing’.
OK- I’m not great at letting things go and letting God do… we’ve proven that. A second great thing tells me why I could never be a successful doctor –
I have no patience! (ok I know the spelling is different – it is what is called a ‘play’ on words for all my literal friends who struggle with my writing!) A huge requirement for this next ‘phase’ is patience! GREAT!
Once it is determined you may need a lung transplant, it is about 1 year to do all the testing, get all the approvals, and blood work just to get on the list. I have requested the doctors get me started on the process.
One last thought… All of this, the way I feel that it’s a little harder to breathe almost every day, the devastating damage IPF brings, the projections of what a double transplant would incur, this one thing is evident: the very best posture I can take is that of Adam – completely surrendered to whatever it is God intends to do and trusting Him for the outcome.
We thank God for His intervention in the cost of my medicine each month. We thank Him that even now when the disease is somewhat slowed, even with the feeling of increased stress on the lungs, we know that the prayers of all of you are with us and we covet them greatly. Thank you for your kindness, your prayer support, and please if God lays it upon your heart to reach out to me, to Karin or to any of the kids or grandkids (sometimes those get lost in the shuffle) please act on that impulse and reach out. Your efforts will be greatly appreciated.
With love and prayers,